it's 3 am and i chose not to sleep 'coz there's still this residual effect on me.
thank you for missing me.thank you for giving me another chance to talk to you.

thank you for the good fight.we talked about setting up a date.it started as a behavioral science assignment of mine.even if we both know it's a lie,we still agreed that i will observe you "privately", naked and all.

it was a good fight because we ended up with no set place nor time.
we've won against this dirty sin of fornication-a fight we've fallen against a lot of times before.
it left me now this kind of inexplicable feeling-a special kind of romance way much deeper and beyond the four corners of our torrid beds.

thank you for fighting with me.I've long wanted to prove you how much you worth to me,
but this pleasurable yet deceitful expression always ruin things unknowingly.
and now, we both know how much we devote this with each other-to no one else but you and me.
all we need is to wait.

i want you to know that i have all the will and power to fight any battle,knowing you are behind me.

good night my dear..

i wish i could hibernate this christmas until spring,that way, people won't see me on my most devastated state and  get influenced by my aura..

damn..

 i don't want to live a life like this anymore.

"parang hindi ko na kaya."
 part of me is so damn tired dreaming and hoping you'd come back, that one day you'll finally give up in this game..that you'd tell me you need me.that even if i'm always broke, even if i'm not your ideal atenista guy who's so confident, who can always pay the bills when we go out..and that you like me for everything i am..the same way i've always liked and loved you eversince i got to know the real you.

another part is telling me to move on..to let you learn the lessons the natural way, and just hope along the way, you encounter less dangerous, and more vivid road to take.

patricia..
i still care for you..
and i hate the feeling and the fact that i'm slowly getting there..

i don't want to move on tricia.
i decide and choose not to move on.

i want you

i still want you..

please..tama na ang larong ito.
i give up.
i've learned my lesson..
i know di ko na maibabalik ang mga pangyayari..

but i really do regret everything i've said and done.
i regret showing you that kind of me that night.

i know things wouldn't be as sweeter  as before if ever bec we won't work in the same group anymore.
less seeing each other,less fights..

please tricia...

i surrender.

come away with me again..